You’re with your girlfriend, ready to enjoy a night of passionate, frenzied sex after a romantic candlelit dinner. You’re celebrating your one-year anniversary, and you want to make the night as memorable as possible. Your girlfriend is looking fabulous in brand new lingerie, and the mood is right—in fact, it’s so right that you can’t contain yourself, and before you know it, the night is over before it even got started—because you suffer from premature ejaculation, and you can’t last long enough to satisfy either of you.
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Premature ejaculation can take a toll on any relationship. If that scenario sounded painfully familiar, then it can be easy to start to despair of ever finding a solution. But there are many things you can do right now to help you last longer in bed, and we’re not talking about taking medications or any of those dubious herbal remedies you see for sale from online vendors. In fact, you don’t necessarily even need to spend money to fix your premature ejaculation. Although, taking some quality courses in lasting longer in bed can certainly help, and the value will extend far beyond the value of premature ejaculation pills.
Here is our list of the top five tips or ways you can last longer in bed naturally:
- Kegel exercises.
- Oral sex.
- Cognitive therapy.
- Try something new.
- Get to the bottom of it.
Kegel exercises are probably one of the most objective and simple approaches you can take to learning how to last longer in bed. The muscles that are involved in the contractions you experience during ejaculation are your pelvic floor muscles. These muscles are also used for urination, and in women, during childbirth. That’s why you may associate Kegel exercises with pregnancy and labor—but men can benefit from them too. Since the pelvic floor muscles are involved with ejaculation, the more you can strengthen and control them, the easier time you’ll have deciding when you want to ejaculate. The other benefit is that you can experience more explosive orgasms.
Doing Kegel exercises is pretty easy, and you can do them anywhere without anyone noticing. Next time you are in the bathroom urinating, try to stop the flow of your urine in midstream consciously. If you can do that, you have found the same muscles which contract during an orgasm, and you know how to contract them yourself. When you get a feel for it, you should be able to contract them while you are doing other things—like commuting home from work, watching TV, sitting in the office, or doing pretty much anything else. Just several sets of 10 Kegel exercises a day can lead to improvements in premature ejaculation within weeks.
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Oral sex is fun, but did you know it can also help you last longer? Many men are able to last longer on their second round of sex, so if you let your partner go down on you, ejaculate, and then wait a little bit and go on to a second round of sex, there is a good chance that you will take longer to ejaculate. Another way oral sex can help you to last longer is by distracting you while you go down on your partner. Since you are stimulating her (and maybe avoiding stimulating yourself), you’re both still having fun, but you’re helping her catch up with you in terms of timing. By the time you have intercourse, she may be sufficiently stimulated that she can come at the same time as you.
Whether you actually decide to see a sex therapist or you simply work on changing the way you think about sex on your own, making those changes to how you think can make a huge difference in how you experience sex. As a man in our modern society, you have probably ingrained the idea that the goal of sex is to have an orgasm. Nothing is wrong with wanting an orgasm, but the more you fixate on your end goal, the faster you will arrive there, even if you don’t want to get there so quickly.
Try Something New
One common psychological cause for premature ejaculation is fixating on having an orgasm. This tends to be a particular problem for guys, though it can happen to women too. In general, however, research shows that women have an easier time getting their brains involved with sex, whereas for men that doesn’t always come as intuitively. By finding ways to get your mind involved with what you’re doing, though, you distract yourself from that quest for the end goal. That allows you to slow down and enjoy the experience as it unfolds, instead of rushing your body to the finish line. An orgasm is the natural result of stimulation and arousal. It isn’t something you need to chase down in fear of missing it.
Trying new things is a great way to distract yourself if you fixate easily on an end goal. Instead, make it your goal to do something different. Try a new sexual position, try having sex in a new place or at a different time, try out a different activity, even try wearing different clothes or having your partner wear something new. There are many different ways to get yourself involved in sex in a way that draws out the experience.
Get To The Bottom Of It.
What’s the actual cause of your premature ejaculation? There are many different reasons you might have PE. Maybe you are just naturally wired that way, and you need to work on your Kegels to learn how to last longer. Or maybe it has to do with your outlook on sex or the state of your relationship. Or perhaps you’re depressed, stressed out, overworked, or anxious about something. Figuring out what underlies your premature ejaculation is one of the best ways you can tackle the issue. Once you know the problem, you know where to start seeking the solution.